As I mentioned a few weeks ago, Tuesday I was back at Strong Memorial in Rochester for an ICD implant - an internal defibrillator - which will help regulate my heart and enable a better quality of life.  The pain when I type, or try to do much of anything with my left arm, comes from the area where the implant was done - just below the collarbone on the left side.  It's manageable and it will pass but for the next six weeks I'll have limited use of that arm. 

The surgery went very well and I know that's due to at least two things; the highly-skilled surgeons and staff at Strong and the prayers of so many of you who have been supportive over the last four months since the heart attack.

I wasn't nervous about the procedure; it's fairly routine these days.  But any time they're going to open you up and do something invasive, you tend to be a little concerned.  I had asked if, while they were in there, they could also install one of those automatic car starters so this winter I could just tap my chest inside the house and warm up the car.  I don't think they were quite sure how to respond to that.

Then, when they were wheeling me into the operating room one of the RNs said, "Oh, and Gregg is here from St. Jude's, so he'll be with you during the surgery."  They'd already started the IV drip so I was a little out of it but I thought, "Why is someone from St. Jude's Children's Hospital here?"  We got in the room and this guy with a big smile leaned over me and said, "Hi, I'm Gregg".  I said, "Hi, Gregg...ah, thanks for coming."  It was one of those awkward moments like when you have a party and someone shows up that you don't know..."ah..., sure, come on in." 

The last thought I had before I went under was, "Wait a minute...I may act like it sometimes but I'm not a kid...did they mix up the charts?  Are they going to take my tonsils out?"  With that the nurse gave one final push of the IV and I was very glad Gregg had come..."Take whatever you want...no problem."

It wasn't until hours later when I was in the cath lab recovering that I remembered to ask one of the nurses about it.  I found out that St. Jude is the company that manufactures the ICD units and, because the one they were installing in me is a newer design, he was observing the procedure.  Still, I reached up and felt my throat to make sure my tonsils were still there.

So now it's on to the 'new normal'.  I'm looking forward to getting back to a full, productive life.  Connie and I have much to be thankful for.  Thanksgiving's always been my favorite "holiday" and this year will be especially meaningful to us and our family.  Thank you again for your thoughts and prayers; the emails I received from some of you who've had ICDs or know someone who has were very encouraging.  I've come away from this whole experience with a deeper appreciation for those who work in the health care field and the gifts God has given them, of skill and technology.  But most of all I'm thankful to the Lord for allowing me to continue a little further on this journey of life.  Thank you all again.

Blessings, Cecil

Basically, it amounts to this:  at present, broadcast radio stations and networks pay royalties to songwriters and publishers through performance rights organizations like ASCAP, BMI and SESAC.  The revenue is distributed through a complicated set of formulas and calculations to compensate songwriters for the use of their works on the radio.  But American broadcasters have never paid a performance right fee to the artists for the use of their songs on the radio, the reasoning being that radio provides considerable promotional value to the artists and record labels. 

Now, with CD sales down roughly 20% from last year (continuing a year-to-year tumble this entire decade), record labels and artists are seeking additional revenue streams.  Performance rights are paid to artists in most other parts of the world; the U.S. stands almost alone in not paying them.  Additonally, the U.S. has no reciprocal agreements with other countries, so a British artist who may receive performance royalties in Europe receives none from airplay in this country and vice-versa; American artists receive no performance royalties when their songs are played on foreign radio stations.  If an artist is also the songwriter, they receive publishing royalties; but for the many who perform other writer's songs there is no additional "artist" performance income.

So what does this mean to Christian radio?  If the proposed legislation becomes law (and it's a long way from becoming that) it could mean dramatically increased costs.  Family Life Network already pays thousands and thousands of dollars a year to ASCAP, BMI and SESAC for the rights to use the songs they license.  Paying an artist royalty on top of that could double those costs or more.  What's interesting to me is that this debate has mostly been waged by secular artists and record labels and radio; most Christian artists and record labels haven't weighed in publicly.  There is some soft support for the PRA among labels but no label has taken a hard stand in favor of it, probably because they realize most Christian stations and networks could not absorb additional fees or because they don't want to appear greedy.  

So is the "workman worthy of his hire?"  Of course.  But are concert revenues, digital downloads, CD sales and general promotional value, all brought about by the free advertising broadcast radio provides by playing an artist's songs, enough?  Or is the artist entitled to something more?

A House version of the PRA has been approved by the House Judiciary Committee.  No votes have been scheduled in the full House or Senate so the PRA is still a long way from becoming law.  But if it does it will fundamentally change the relationship between record labels, artists and broadcast radio networks.  And, in my opinion, not for the better.  One of my reasons is that 50% or more of any royalties collected will go to the record labels, not the artists.  Radio would, in effect, be paying the labels for the privilege of promoting their songs.  The result would be reduced playlists with fewer artists.  Ironically, that would hurt new and emerging artists, who would lose their best opportunity to get their music out to the public.

What do you think?  How should artists be compensated?  Is the current system fair or unfair?  Would you be willing to support an additional $60,000 need in our spring Sharathon so FLN could pay to play Chris Tomlin?  (Or Natalie Grant or Casting Crowns or...)?

It's been awhile since I've blogged about any of the medical issues but since a couple of significant decisions have been made recently I thought I'd give an update for those who've been faithfully praying and expressing their concern since the heart attack.

I've been back in the office about 6 hours a day since the end of August and still hosting PM Praise every weeknight at 6 p.m.  (Karmon Wood, thankfully, jumped in to do afternoons in the interim.)  For the last two months I've also been in physical therapy which has made a significant difference in my strength and endurance.  That, along with the various medications I've been on, have helped my heart recover from the damage done by the heart attack.  Two weeks ago I was back at Strong Memorial Hospital for a cardiac MRI.  I'd never had an MRI before and wasn't sure what to expect.  It wasn't an 'open' MRI; I was in the tube for over an hour.  I discovered that I'm not claustrophobic but I did come away with a pretty good sense of what toothpaste must feel like in the tube.  

Last week we met with the doctors and their determination is that I should have an ICD implant.  It's a fairly common procedure where a tiny controller is implanted in the upper chest, near the collarbone, with leads connecting to the heart muscle.  It will act in much the same way as the external defibrillator that I've been wearing since July.  While the heart muscle may continue some degree of recovery, there was a lot of scar tissue and damage caused by the heart attack.  So, while my overall prognosis is good, it will never be the same as it was before the heart attack.  The surgery is scheduled for November 3rd at Strong.

I can't tell you how much it means to have read the comments people wrote on the blogs and the emails I've received.  So many people came up during Sharathon and asked how I was doing and said they've been praying for me and Connie through this time; it's very humbling.  This has been (and will continue to be) an amazing learning process on every level -physical, spiritual and emotional.  It's not an experience I would ever wish on anyone but for what it is teaching me, I wouldn't trade it for anything.

Your prayers for the surgery would be appreciated.  On the programming side, thanks for your outstanding support during the Sharathon.  Be listening for Jean and Kurt weekday afternoons at 2 p.m. - we're going to have a lot of fun.  Check out the Don Moen podcast and be looking for part two to be posted later this week.  God bless.   

Every year we work hard to bring a good variety of Christmas music to our listeners, but it is a challenge.  Years ago, Family Life Network was known as "Your Home For Christmas", because very few stations played a lot of Christmas music, comparatively speaking.  In more recent years, it's hard to tune across the dial from November through December and not find half a dozen stations playing Christmas music, many 24/7, starting as early as the end of October.  The reason most stations do it is simple; it creates a huge short-term increase in listeners and, for those stations that are commercial, a commensurate bump in fourth-quarter revenue.  However, analysis of ratings data indicates there is no residual benefit; whatever the usual format of the station, nearly 100% of the seasonal listeners disappear after Christmas and go back to whatever they listened to before.

This year once again there will be a number of new Christmas records released; Chris Tomlin has a nice project out that's basically a Christmas worship service recorded 'live'; Downhere will release their first Christmas record; Big Daddy Weave has their own full-length Christmas project out (after contributing tracks to various Christmas compilation records the last few years).  Even Bob Dylan mumbles his way through a Christmas record this year; well, it's half Christmas standards and half other stuff.

So the challenge is to bring the best mix of songs in the right proportion at the right time.  In recent years, we've bumped up the percentage of Christmas music in the weeks leading up to our 72-Hour Christmas Festival; we've played a mix of older, traditional songs and newer, non-traditional songs; and we've mixed secular artists with 'Christian' artists.  The basic formula seems to work well, but it doesn't hurt to pose a few questions and get some first-hand responses, so here we go.

1.  Do you prefer to hear more traditional songs (O Holy Night, Joy To The World, etc.) vs. more non-traditional songs (Christmas Shoes, Breath of Heaven, etc.)?  I don't mean which do you like more, but which would you rather hear more of on the air?  Or, do you prefer a mix of both? 

2.  When we play non-traditional songs from CCM artists like Casting Crowns or Jars of Clay or Jaci Velasquez, do you find them enjoyable, even if they aren't very familiar?

3.  Is playing Christmas music right after Thanksgiving too soon, if it's only every fourth song?  What about playing 2 out of 4 songs in early December?  When are you ready to hear 100% Christmas music?

4.  Almost every artist has a Christmas record in their catalog because their fans want to hear them do Silent Night or O Little Town of Bethlehem and they're perennial sellers.  If you hear a different artist sing the same song within, say, 45 minutes of each other is that too much?  Would you be o.k. with less Christmas music if it meant less repetition of certain familiar titles?

5.  Family Life includes some classic Christmas songs by secular artists:  Perry Como, Burl Ives, Josh Grobin, The Carpenters, etc.  Does that matter or do you think we should only play 'Christian' artists?

6.  What about secular songs?  We don't play secular titles like Here Comes Santa Claus, Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer or Frosty the Snowman, but we do play songs like I Wonder As I Wander, I'll Be Home For Christmas, The Christmas Song, etc.  Do they enhance your listening or do you think we should only play 'religious' Christmas songs?

7.  How much do you listen to Family Life during the Christmas season?  More, the same, or less than at other times of the year?

Let me know what you think; hopefully we'll have some interesting conversation on the subject.  This is not a formal survey that will determine programming outcomes, it's more an opportunity for you to share your thoughts on what we do to program at this important time of year. 

And I felt slightly convicted. 

My first reaction to getting the programming done was, 'good, now I can move on to other things'; it was an item checked off my to-do list, feeding the animal that is a growing radio network for another week.  But it's so much more than that.

I sat there for a few minutes and pondered the impact all the songs we play have on listeners.  I thought about the lyrics; I thought of the constant stream of emails and comments from people telling how a song has encouraged them, convicted them, lifted them up when they were feeling really down or made them want to get up and shout for joy because of what the Lord means in their life.  Songs are powerful tools God can use to minister to us and even though I know that and I've been doing this for years, in that moment of "getting the job done", I overlooked the most important thing:  I wasn't just scheduling music, I was weaving a tapestry that God was going to use to speak to people.    

I offer that as an encouragement to you because we're all prone to overlooking "the most important thing."  In our home and work responsibilities, we have tasks that must be accomplished and they're not always fun to do.  But they're things God has called us to do.  When we work in retail and we offer a genuine smile to a customer rather than a mindless "have a nice day", we make a difference in their day.  When we're busy but we make the time to listen to a friend who needs our ear - not advice, just someone to listen - we might be helping them in ways we couldn't anticipate.  When we're in traffic and we allow someone to pull into the lane in front of us, even though we don't have to, and even though they're going to drive 30 miles per hour in a 45, we show kindness that isn't required, it's offered.     

The value of what we do isn't measured by our productivity on the job; the value comes in seeing beyond the immediate and believing that our actions can have an impact, far beyond measure, on the lives of those around us.      

Have you noticed how "back to school" is the same no matter what stage of life you're in - child, parent, grandparent?  There are hems to be adjusted ("You grew a lot over the summer!"), notebooks to be purchased (Hannah Montana or Demi Lovato...tough call) and schedules to be adjusted ("Billy!?!  I said 'now'!!").  As grandparents of 3 (4 if you count one in preschool) school-age children, we get the benefits - the colorful drawings, the excitement over a hard-earned 'A', the joy of watching them learn - without all the hassles their parents have to endure.  Life is good.

Speaking of school, have you noticed that if you really sharpen a No. 2 pencil the tip always breaks and has to be worn down to a rounded nub to be usable?  I think it's a conspiracy in the lead industry.

Have you noticed how more and more people seem utterly indifferent to the claims of Christ in their lives?  Some, even when confronted with a major life crisis, just don't seem to care to acknowledge that there is a spiritual dimension to life that must be addressed. 

Have you noticed that the more things change, the more they stay the same?  And have you noticed how many of those old adages really are true, especially the older you get?

Have you noticed that, as a culture, we don't value history or the arts or language anymore?  We allow a flat-screen tv to be our window on the world and we willingly substitute 'reality' shows for reality.  Reading is almost a lost art.  We equate the accumulation of things with wealth and the information contained in our iPhones and Blackberrys with knowledge.  How sad.

Have you noticed that there is a God who is passionately in love with you, who desperately wants to engage you in a relationship unlike any other you have ever known?  It's true.

Have you noticed? 

In the last five weeks I've had daily opportunities to think about the changes a major health event will make in your life, whether it's cancer, heart failure, a serious accident.  Hearing Novak describe how he faced each battle and how his faith sustained him through it all gave me a deeper appreciation for what other people go through - and a reassurance that God is still working to refine and renew my own life as well.

Last week I explained the events of the first part of that Thursday, July 16th - but there was more to the story.  After I was stabilized following the arrhythmia they took me into surgery and did the catheterization to view the arteries around the heart and open any blockage.  They found one artery completely blocked - I was told later it could have been blocked for up to a year - and a second artery 80% blocked.  They put a stent in that artery so it began to function normally.  The third main artery was fine.  I was back in my room with Connie and our minister by 7 p.m.  Needless to say, I was wiped out.  But God had one more blessing in store that night - Dan, the EMT who brought me to Arnot-Ogden, came back to the ICU to check on me before he went home.  He didn't have to do that - in fact, as I mentioned, it was his last day on the job.  But instead of just going home, he took time to come up and see how I was doing.  He and our minister annointed me with oil and laid hands on me and prayed for me.  It was the best way to end what was the most unbelievable day of my life.  I knew, no matter what else, that I was in God's hands.

One other evidence of God's perfect timing.  My son Justin had been planning on being in the Binghamton area that Saturday for a family reunion on his mom's side.  Justin is a grad student and assistant football coach at Grandview University.  The original plans called for him to spend a few days with us following the reunion before heading back to Des Moines.  Thursday night I knew he'd be on the road, probably somewhere in Indiana or Ohio, so, since I was stable for the moment, I decided not to call him until Friday.  I was concerned with dropping that kind of news when he was halfway across the country. 

The next day and night I was on oxygen, IVs and more monitors than the guys on the space shuttle.  I didn't sleep much.  But Friday night I called Justin and explained what had happened.  He was just arriving in Binghamton; he was obviously very concerned but I reassured him everything would be fine until the next day and that he should go to the reunion. 

Saturday, after consulting with the senior cardiologists and electrophysiologists, it was recommended that I be transferred to Strong Memorial Hospital in Rochester.  They would be able to do much more comprehensive tests and evaluation - so, Saturday afternoon I took another bumpy ambulance ride from Elmira to Rochester.  I was admitted to Strong's cardiac ICU.  Not 15 minutes later a nurse came in and said I had a visitor.  I had no idea who it could have been - Connie was picking up Justin and they were at least an hour behind the ambulance, and no one else knew I was there.  I said, sure, let them in and a moment later Ed Thomas, FLN's afternoon news anchor, came in with a big smile and a bigger hug.  Ed and I have worked together afternoons on the air since he and Natalie joined us last fall and at that moment, seeing his friendly, familiar face was the best medicine ever.  How did he know I was there?  Connie had sent an email to our radio admin., Mary, before she left Elmira saying I was being transferred.  That email went out to the staff so they could continue to pray for us.  Natalie happened to be on her computer, read the email and texted Ed, telling him what was going on.  Ed was in Rochester for a Messianic fellowship meeting but he determined he was going to drive over to Strong and not leave until he found me and could pray with me.  We had a wonderful time of fellowship together.  Not long after he left, Connie and Justin arrived - I'm sure he didn't know what to expect - I was sitting up in a chair, connected with wires and sensors and IVs - must have looked pretty scary - but we embraced and held each other for a long time. 

Over the next two days I was able to breath on my own; able to sit up and walk a bit; and one by one the IVs and monitors came off.  Monday I was transferred out of ICU to a regular cardiac ward.  Justin and Connie were there most of each day and night, along with family members, people from FLN, some pastors who serve as hospital chaplains who'd heard what was going on on the radio.  There were also a number of nurses and hospital staff who were listeners and came by to share their concern and support.  One RN said, "I never thought I'd meet you like this."  I said, "Well, we try to get out and meet our listeners where they are." 

Tuesday, Justin left to return to the midwest.  And after conversations with the doctors and specialists, it was decided that it would be best if any further surgery was put on hold for 60-90 days while the medicines I'm taking help my heart to heal and recover.  At that time they may implant an ICD (an internal defibrillator) but in the meantime I was fitted with what's called a LifeVest - basically a lightweight series of sensors I wear under my shirt that monitor my heart.  Should I suffer another arrhythmia the portable unit that I wear around my neck or attached to my belt will zap me and bring my heart back into a regular rhythm.  If I went to a Star Trek convention, I'd fit right in because it looks like Spock's tricorder - but it's a safety net and one I'm o.k. with.  And just to clarify - I don't go to Star Trek conventions.

I've been home nearly four weeks now.  Again, the offers of help, food, cards, calls, emails have been overwhelming.  Just to sense the degree of love and support from our family and friends - and even many people I don't personally know but who listen to FLN - has been unbelievable.  I'm working from home and trying to get back as soon as the doctors say it's o.k.  I started cardiac rehab last week - I call it my 'work release' program - and that's going well. 

I don't know what the future holds.  But then, none of us do.  As I said in the first blog, we go through our lives and wonder where the time has gone - weeks become months become years.  And even when we think we're being aware and tuned in to the things that matter, an event like this makes us - or at least makes me - realize that there's so much more to life than I've understood.  More depth.  More compassion.  More meaning.  More joy.

A week ago Sunday I was scheduled to play at our church.  I hadn't touched a keyboard in over a month.  When it came time for communion I sat at the concert grand piano and started with just single notes the melody of Henry Smith's great worship chorus, "Give Thanks".  Two notes became three as I built the chords through the verse:  "Give thanks with a grateful heart, give thanks to the holy One, give thanks because he's given Jesus Christ, his Son..."; I repeated the verse a little more confidently letting it build into the bridge, "and now let the weak say, I am strong, let the poor say I am rich, because of what the Lord has done for us", then repeated the bridge again at full volume, playing with a sense of God's holy presence - declaring the truth of those lyrics and expressing it through the beauty of the music.  All the emotion of the past few weeks came out in my playing - if you're a musician, you know what I mean.  People were singing through their tears; I was crying while I played because in those moments that was my testimony - it was my life - and what could I do but give him an offering of praise and thanksgiving for all he'd done - for me.  

Thank you for reading this.  A number of wonderful folks have posted comments on the first blog from last week.  If you'd like to share a thought of how the Lord has worked in your life, I know people would be encouraged by that.  I'm more grateful than you'll ever know for your prayers and expressions of support.  Whatever the future holds, I pray that God will be glorified through it and that we'll all be strengthened in our walk with him.  God bless.

I called Connie at work while I was waiting for the ambulance.  That's a hard phone call to make - "Honey, it's me.  Now I don't want you to be worried, but I'm at the doctor and they say I've had a heart attack.  They're taking me to emergency."  There's no way to soften what must be said, but I tried to keep a calm voice so she wouldn't overreact.  To her credit, and the Lord's, she said, "O.K., I'll be there in just a little bit."  I called the office to let Mary, our radio admin, know what was going on.  My first thought was I had a meeting at 11 and didn't want to miss it.  Obviously, I had no idea what the next few hours would bring.  Missing that meeting was going to be the least of my concerns that day.

Connie arrived at the local hospital within about 25 minutes; I had a chest x-ray and another EKG and we talked.  The decision had been made to transfer me immediately to Arnot-Ogden Medical Center in Elmira where they have a more extensive cardiac center.  It was so strange to me - sitting on a gurney with sensors attached to me, a doctor asking me questions, my wife by my side - and I didn't feel that bad.  At least, not any worse than I'd felt when I went to the doctor's office that morning.  But the looks of concern on everyone's face told me it was more serious than I realized.

The ambulance ride to Elmira took over an hour and it was very bumpy.  If I can make one suggestion - no, two suggestions - they would be, operators should replace the shocks in their ambulances more regularly than they do, and, if you have a back or spinal injury, take a cab.  I felt more pain being jostled around than I had all morning.  I remember thinking, 'if the heart attack doesn't kill me, this ride's going to.'  On the positive side, the two EMTs who took me were both Christians.  In fact, the one who rode in back with me, Dan, was someone I'd met at FLN during a Sharathon and just a great brother in the Lord.  Connie was following a few miles behind in her car so it was just Dan and me in the back of the ambulance.  We talked about what had happened, what they might do at the hospital, and about our lives.  In fact, that day was his last day working for the ambulance service; he had been studying for the ministry, had his ordination, and was leaving in two weeks to begin pastoring a church in Kentucky.  So we had a good conversation about what God was doing in our lives and he prayed with me before we arrived at the hospital.  That meant so much in that moment because I was still in somewhat of a state of disbelief over what was happening.

When we arrived at Arnot-Ogden I was taken into cardiac ICU and met one of their cardiologists.  The plan was to do a catheterization from the groin area to see how the arteries and heart looked and determine what steps to take from there.  I was taken to a private room and Connie joined me there.  She made some phone calls to her family and we just sat, still stunned at what was happening.  If you've ever been in a traumatic situation like this, you know what I'm talking about - a heart attack, a serious injury, some major event that completely turns your world upside down in a matter of minutes.  If you haven't experienced something like that, it's hard to describe. 

We all go about our daily lives with a schedule and an agenda.  Even the most routine and mundane parts of life just seem to breeze by every day as we go about our business - our family obligations, work, recreational activities, church - whatever it is.  Even those of us who make a conscious effort to not take things for granted, do.  Because we don't parse our lives down to the moment - the minute - the hour - the day.  Life goes too fast for that.  It can be the same way with our faith too.  Yes, we're sincerely trying to follow the Lord, we're well-intentioned, we do all the right things.  And yet it sometimes becomes like a spiritual shorthand, especially for those of us who've known the Lord for decades, because we know the drill.  Not that we're indifferent; but we're just as subject to falling into routines, even if they're good routines, as not. 

As I lay in the hospital bed - and nothing against them, but I've never been a big fan of being in hospitals - looking at my wife, who was very concerned about me, wondering what was happening, thinking, 'Who's going to go on the air for me today?', looking at all the sensors and monitors I was connected to - it was all very surreal.  On one level, you're taking it in and trying to think through, procedurally, what is going to happen next.  On another level, you're thinking, 'what does this mean, Lord?', 'what's going on?' 

I believe God acts providentially in the lives of his children.  There are times in life when, despite our inability to understand what he is doing in the moment, his timing is perfect to suit his ultimate purposes.  A few minutes after 4 pm I was talking with Connie when the light coming through the window and the fluorescent lights in the ceiling became blindingly bright.  I felt lightheaded like I was going to faint.  This all happened in a matter of seconds.  I said, "Something's happening, get someone in here...get someone..." and I passed out.  The next thing I remember is two nurses attempting CPR on me then I passed out again.  Connie told me later, within seconds there were 10 people in the room working on me.  My heart rate, which had been in the 116-120 beats per minute range shot up and up and up to 225 - then it flatlined.  I coded.  They rushed her out into an adjoining room with a counselor.  The counselor asked, "Is there anyone we can call so you won't be alone?"  The last thing Connie saw was the crash cart being wheeled into my room. 

I'd had no pulse for over a minute.  People have asked if I remember anything about what was happening and honestly, I don't, except I vaguely remember hearing voices in the background and feeling myself being moved around in the hospital bed.  (They were rolling me on my side so they could put a board underneath me before they used the paddles.)  The next thing I know I felt a physical sensation like I'd never felt before.  I didn't know it was coming, obviously, but the second they shocked me, I felt my entire body shudder and jump - an intense pressure and a shock wave that went up and down from my chest to my feet.  I can only imagine it would be like being hit by a Mack truck going 40 mph.  My eyes opened and the same RN who had tried CPR had an oxygen mask over my mouth and nose and told me to breath deeply.  As I stabilized over the next few minutes, I asked what they had done.  The RN told me I had gone Code Blue and they used the paddles to bring me back.  She leaned in closer and whispered, "Don't ever do that again."  I tried to laugh, but it hurt.  I promised her I wouldn't.  Once they felt I was ok, they let Connie back in the room.  We embraced and cried.  I had suffered a major arrhythmia - where the heart beats wildly out of control, trying to function.  Where the heart attack was caused by a long-blocked artery and the near closing of a second one, the arrhythmia was caused by my heart's attempting to pump blood and push oxygen into the lungs, and, being seriously damaged already by the heart attack, it was unable to function. 

Few of us contemplate death until we're confronted with it; the sudden loss of a loved one; a family member or friend who is suffering from a terminal illness; the senseless tragedy of war and violence.  As much as we look forward to spending eternity with the Lord, whenever the time comes, if we're honest we prefer the life he's given us here on earth.  After all, this is what we know - the love of family and friends; the purpose to which he's called us; the simple joys of a beautiful summer day, listening to children playing or the joy we derive from reading a good book or listening to a great piece of music.  Without being melodramatic, the simple fact is I died.  And by God's grace, I live again.  I'm not rushing to try and filter this down into a spiritual analogy because there are many layers to what happened.  But God is doing something and has some greater purpose in all that has happened that I'm sure I'll only fully comprehend with time and the perspective it brings.

When I say that God acts providentially in the lives of his children I mean this:  if I hadn't gone to the doctor that morning; if they hadn't run an EKG; if I hadn't been transferred to Arnot-Ogden in the hands of two caring brothers; if I wasn't in an ICU when I suffered the arrhythmia, the story would end with "I died."  But God.  That's all...but...God. 

There's much more to this which I'll post in the next couple of days.  But I want to thank everyone who has prayed for me and Connie during this time.  I know when the word went out on the air there were many of you lifting me up.  I've received dozens and dozens of emails and cards, many from people I don't even know - just people who've listened on the radio who felt a sense of connectedness and wanted to support us in prayer.  That's the beauty of the body of Christ; that we join together to bear one another's burdens.  Connie and I certainly couldn't have made it through the last few weeks without your prayers.  The kind thoughts and support from people at Family Life, friends in the radio and music business, and people from around the country has been humbling.  God is good and his people are amazing.  Thank you.

More in a day or two...   

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Speaking of programs, I hope you've had an opportunity to listen to Truth For Life with Alistair Begg, the program that replaced Family Life Today last week.  Alistair's expository preaching style and in-depth teaching is resonating with a growing number of listeners so if you haven't listened yet, I'd encourage you to tune in weeknights at 8 pm for Truth For Life.  He's in the UK speaking until next week but I hope to have him on the afternoon show sometime in mid to late July to talk about his teaching ministry and the ministry of Parkside Church where he pastors.

New music - check out the current podcast for a great new worship song by Robert Mauti and Rachael Lampa.  Kathleen Carnali, Jeff Chandler, Jared Anderson, Matt Papa, Michael Robert and Andrew Carlton all have new songs on the air.  I just added a song by a new band called Sidewalk Prophets - kind of a Steven Curtis Chapman meets Caedmon's Call meets Delirious sound - and great lyrics.  It's called "The Words I Would Say" - listen for it.

Along those lines, Phil Stacey has a new record releasing August 25th and I've had a chance to listen to it.  It's great - very well-written, well-sung and well-produced.  We're playing one song from it already called "You're Not Shaken" - listen for more throughout the summer months. 

Finally, I spent an hour or so talking with Christy Nockels earlier this week.  She's a real joy because her heart is transparent and her love for the Lord is strong and real - and her talent?  Well, five best-selling records as Watermark (with her husband, Nathan) tells you something.  Her new solo record, "Life Light Up" is already on FLN - the podcast of our conversation will be on the website next week sometime along with previews from the new record.

That's it for now - keep in touch.

As an avid internet user, I've been a little bored lately with the lack of new apps and interactive websites.  One original idea and a hundred lesser copies.  Well, I came across something earlier this week while Googling for an online thesaurus.  It's a very cool tool, especially for wordsmiths and people who just enjoy the language.  It's www.visualthesaurus.com, an amazingly intuitive site that not only provides the history and definition of words, but their context, synonyms, antonymns and usage in a visual presentation that is truly engaging.  The 'Thinkmap' software anticipates what you're going to want to know about a word and puts it all visually on the screen.  Anyone who enjoys language or linguistics should definitely check this out.  At twenty bucks a year for an online subscription it could provide hours of helpful information for writers and researchers and a lot of fun too. 

Lastly, you may have noticed Family Life Today is no longer in our evening lineup.  Beginning next Tuesday, June 23rd, we'll be adding the daily edition of Truth For Life with Alistair Begg.  We've had incredible response to the weekend version which we added last month (Sundays at 7 pm).  In the daily programs, Alistair will do in-depth, expository teaching on different topics, enriched by his many years as a student of the Word.  Look for it weeknights at 8 pm starting next Tuesday.

Have a great week!

Some interesting insights from the posters and some common threads - John Carter expressed a need for music that's labeled as Christian to be, "believeable, organic, passionate, real"; Nathan Boatman, a self-proclaimed "righteous rocker at heart" says that Christian music needs "passion not only in the vocalist of a band, but the guitars and drums and keyboards need to convey the Holy Spirit as well." r.t. blake commented that, "perhaps losing the 'Christian' label could help tear down some stereotypes and open up the door for stronger music, more innovative lyrics and better conversations with the rst of the world"; Chuck W. suggests that "weakening spirituality will ulitmately result in reduced power of music...people aren't usually looking for music that makes them uncomfortable, but that discomfort is a means to growth." If you didn't read the original posts you should check them out because they're all constructive and thoughtful.

Some readers commented on the dichotomy between what is popular and commercially-viable (read: not necessarily as spiritually-challenging) and what is more 'real' and 'gritty', music that is usually produced by niche artists and indies who don't benefit from radio exposure and commercial appeal. That's never been more true than now. One of the reasons I think the gulf has widened is that nearly forty years ago when CCM was in its infancy and the 'Jesus music' era was decidedly non-commercial; even in 1974 when Maranatha Music (an offshoot of Chuck Smith's Calvary Chapel) released the first Praise album, there was no huge CCM/Christian music industry. A big-selling album was 10,000 copies; southern gospel reigned the first decade or more during the Gospel Music Association's Dove Awards (which started in 1969); there were four major Christian record labels (Benson in Nashville, Word in Waco, TX, Light/Lexicon in Sherman Oaks and a little upstart label with a group called Second Chapter of Acts - Sparrow Records, also in Cali). Yes, there were others that focused more on church music (Zondervan, Singcord, Tempo, etc.) but the "industry" was tiny in comparison to what it is today.

These days for an album to be reasonably successful you have to move 150,000 units retail. Sales of over 500,000 are not uncommon. And the revenue that has come into the industry has allowed, as Chuck W. pointed out, more diversity than ever before. But whereas in the 'old days' - yeah, I was there - a label signed an artist, expecting to invest in 2 or 3 records over as many years to help them develop (perhaps less time if they also were viable writers and the label owned their publishing), today's 'development' deals are more like 90 to 120 days. If the artist hits certain benchmarks (radio airplay, retail, website hits, downloads, media exposure, etc.) within prescribed periods, the label will invest more in them. Miss the marks and you'll be back at Starbucks. In fact, that's where Stephanie Smith, IMHO a great, upcoming CHR artist, is these days. Can't pay the bills in CCM so she's pulling lattes at SB. (Learn more about her at http://www.stephanieisagirl.com/).

What I'm getting at is, these days an aspiring artist has so many tools available that artists from 30 years go didn't have, but at the same time the very industry that has brought so much variety and popularity to 'Christian' music conspires against indie artists by creating sound-alike, predictable pop and rock schlock that, while appealing to many, offers little in lyrical conviction, innovation, true musical diversity, etc. Yes, there are some exceptions - songwriters Brandon Heath and Aaron Shust come to mind - but they're pretty slickly-packaged as well and definitely saleable commodities. Not so a Derek Webb, as r.t. blake points out. The size and complexion of the industry has changed but the struggles of aspiring, non-commercial-sounding indie artists has never been greater. (Let alone the economy!)

A couple of commentators mentioned that 'big radio' (like FLN) contributes to the problem by limiting airplay to certain artists and styles. Guilty as charged. As a co-contributor to the general demise of Christian artistry, let me say that I would love to be able to program a radio network that focused on niche artists, passion-filled songs and a wide range of original styles. As some have correctly surmised, that would not be commercially or non-commercially viable. The model that the radio industry is built on (both commercial and non-commercial) doesn't allow for non-conformity. In fact, there are some Christian radio stations (like some of their secular counterparts) that only have 200 songs total in their rotation. (FLN doesn't subscribe to that programming philosophy and we do encourage a lot of indie and lesser-known artists). But just as the music industry is learning that they have to shift to a radical new business model and talent-development paradigm in order to succeed in a new media environment, radio is slowly learning the same lessons. At FLN we're working on bringing new straeming audio in various formats to our website later this year. Will that be enough? No, but it's an honest start. The crux of the issue is that music and how we consume music in a media-driven culture is changing much faster than the industry can adapt - even when it wants to.

So, more food for thought. Where do we go from here? What do you think?

But I'm talking about whatever your personal taste is in Christian music - whether rock or acoustic or praise & worship or alternative or country - what are you not hearing that you'd like to hear?  Let's face it - even with record sales down nearly 20% year-to-date from 2008 (and no, downloads, legal or illegal, aren't making up the difference), Christian music is a multi-million dollar a year industry and it caters to trends and market forces just like any part of the music business.  That often leads to a lack of creativity and innovation - a lack of willingness to take chances - after all, it's much easier to repeat last quarter's success with a new band or female artist than it is to be truly groundbreaking artistically - especially if there's no guarantee of commercial viability. 

So is that a problem?  If the industry is based on sales and radio airplay and concert revenues, should we just accept it?  Or should we - should you as a consumer of Christian music - expect something more?  And if you think so, what is it you'd like to hear that you're not hearing?  More challenging, heartfelt lyrics?  Something that's more raw and authentic than the predigested pap that passes for many lyrics of Christian songs these days?  Something that cuts through the redundant rhetoric of 'Christiandom' and really communicates the message of the gospel in a culturally-relevant way?

Or are you satisfied?  Do you think Christian music is pretty much ok?  Do you have no complaints or suggestions?  I'm just curious to know what your thoughts are - unvarnished, real responses.  One of the reasons the big players in the industy are unresponsive and indie and boutique labels are doing so well these days is because they don't hear from fans in large enough numbers demanding something better.  And as a result we get another uninspired, so-so effort from bands that keep grinding out the same thing over and over.  OK, what band just came to your mind?  (I won't tell you what band I was thinking of) 

People often criticize Christian music as being just a copycat of the world's music - from styles to production techniques to vocal stylings.  Is it?  Are we, as Franky Schaeffer suggested nearly 30 years ago, "addicted to mediocrity"? 

What do you think?

A brief update.  Overall the comments on the Christmas programming (and I'm referring here to the FM radio programming, not the separate streaming Christmas audio on the website) were very positive.  Listeners enjoyed the mix of older songs with newer ones, especially some of the non-traditional titles like Faith Hill's, "A Baby Changes Everything."  Most listeners appreciated the classic Christmas oldies from Perry Como, Andy Williams and other artists.  The inclusion of some of the secular songs ("Here Comes Santa Claus", "Rudolph", etc.) drew responses that were about evenly divided.  Some listeners thought they were fine; recognizable "fun" tunes they remembered from childhood or songs their kids know, and others felt they were in conflict with the true message of the Christmas season.  So the jury's out on whether they'll return next year.

What is interesting is that in a short period of time - yesterday it was within half an hour - I'd get an email from a listener that was very positive about some aspect of the Christmas programming and thanking it for us, followed by one with just the opposite opinion about the same thing.  So that old cliche, that you can't please all the people all the time certainly holds true.

We'll be doing more evaluation of the overall programming and making adjustments where we feel they're needed to make our Christmas 2009 programming as on-target as possible.  And believe it or not, that process begins in April. 

As I'm sitting in my office looking at the snow falling and blowing around, it's hard to think about next Christmas.  If the Lord tarries, it will be here before we know it.  But between now and then there's a lot of work to be done.  I appreciate your emails, calls and letters - oh, and by the way, you may know this already but someone at the Post Office told me that the Christmas stamps are not 'forever' stamps, so use them up quickly.  There's your tip for the day.  I'm here to help.

Have a great New Year.  And thanks for listening.

What's your take on the new songs?  Some are the artist's versions of standards, some are new originals.  Do they stack up compared to your favorite Christmas songs?  Do you prefer hearing the traditional carols done by your favorite artists or do you enjoy original new songs?  Or some of both?  What do you think makes a good Christmas song?  I'd be curious to know your thoughts.

Also, have you listened to our 100% streaming Christmas audio feed?  The reaction from listeners has been overwhelmingly positive.  If we offered other similar feeds with minimal interruption in different music formats, would you listen?