Health update from Cecil Van Houten

02.08.13 | Sonny Delfyette | Comments[2]

Medical update:  It's been a week of answered prayers and the ongoing exercise in patience here at Cabo de Elmwood.  As I write this I'm looking out the window at the heavy snowfall being blown around the buildings.  It's hard to believe this is the first full week of February. 

I say answered prayers because one of the brethren received a heart on Monday and is doing well.  It's a time of rejoicing when we see the hand of God move in the unit.  And the exercise in patience, or maybe I should say patience-building, is going well too.  Opportunities to talk with people and listen to them are a daily occurance. 

There are so many people who are looking at life (and death for that matter) and wondering what does it mean; why is this happening to me; where can I turn? Pray that we'll be able to use this time of waiting wisely.  It's not about having big answers; it's about having a big God.

                          g g g g g g g g g g g g g g

Dear Suggestion Box,

Hello again.  I’ve made several suggestions in the last couple of months but I never heard back from you on any of them.  Do you remember the one about putting those fancy Keurig coffee makers in each patient’s room?  Yeah, that was mine.  So do you guys have something against coffee?

Well it doesn’t matter because I have another idea that’s even better.  Have you ever heard of 2-ply toilet paper?  It’s all the rage; has been for about the last hundred years.  See, 2-ply eliminates splinters, rips and tears.  It gives you a sense of confidence.  You’ll walk out of the bathroom proud to be an American – you know, God, Mom, the flag, apple pie, southern gospel music and 2-ply toilet paper.  Amen.

I know the stuff we have now is cheaper than real toilet paper and that it’s been used in many fine institutions like Abu Ghraib prison (it was never officially declared an ‘instrument of torture’ but still…) and the Russian gulags in the ‘70s and ‘80s.  In fact, I remember seeing Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn on Charlie Rose when he was explaining how “The Gulag Archipelago” was written entirely on one 50,000 sheet roll.

Still, despite its historical significance and low cost, there’s another reason to switch from what we’re using to 2-ply.  By my calculations – and I’ve spent a good deal of time on this – there are at least 739 giant rolls in use across the entire campus every day.  With usage calculated at approximately 3,128 FPD (FPD = flushes per day) you have a perfect low-cost opportunity to boost your brand awareness.

2-ply paper means less stress; a more home-like feel; plus you could put up signage in every bathroom like,

“Strong Memorial…Strong in Every Way” 

“Strong Memorial…4-Star Healthcare, 2-Ply Comfort”

And how’s this for a roll-out campaign?  “Give It A Try! We’ve Gone 2-Ply!” 

I think this could be even bigger than the “We Aim To Please” urinal cake campaign I suggested a few weeks ago.  Come to think of it, I never heard back on that one either.  Well, think about it. 

Remember, I’m here to help.


Your Comments(please keep them on topic and polite)

on 02.08.13 Deb~ commented

- I was just telling my son today -about the
3'x 5' inter folded squares that were in the dispensers in the school bathrooms when I was a kid . Remember those? I think they were made out of surplus tracing paper.... they always came out in either a block and fell to the floor...or JUST the corner of one piece when the holder was over stuffed.

on 02.18.13 Bob commented

How about the green sheets of paper with the heavy lines and dotted lines we practiced our penmanship on? It actually had little wood chunks in it that made your pen skip. And how about the mimeograph machines that only made handouts with blue ink on white paper?